A hard-hitting social media post highlights a shift in dating discourse. Rather than focusing on ‘how to get the guy’, it is stripping away the ambiguity that often keeps people in unfulfilling relationships and asking women to ‘stop making excuses’ for men. The message is clear: when a man is interested and possesses high character, there is no need for a ‘decoder ring’ to understand his intentions. Also read | 11 dating mistakes to avoid according to relationship coach: ‘Don’t become an unpaid therapist for broken people’
‘My jaw is on the floor’
On January 14, dating coach Alejandra Maria shared a breakdown of a trending thread originally posted by @themaineproductions. The post, Alejandra shared had already garnered around 800,000 views and 1,000 comments, and it featured men offering raw, unfiltered advice to women navigating today’s dating landscape.
“My jaw is on the floor,” Alejandra told her Instagram followers, highlighting that the transparency from men regarding their own behaviour was both eye-opening and deeply validating for women who feel gaslit by modern romance.
The common thread among the responses was a plea for women to stop prioritising ‘potential’ or ‘chemistry’ over a man’s actual integrity. The men who shared advice said that no amount of effort from a woman can fix a man with poor character.
10 takeaways from the thread
The advice highlighted by Alejandra served as a roadmap for discernment. Here are some of the replies by the men that Alejandra highlighted:
1. If we want to, we will see those signs early, before you change the direction of your life.
2. You will never do enough to overcome or outweigh bad character in a man.
3. Find a man with solid character and give your time and effort to him.
4. Giving your best to someone who lacks any type of integrity will only enable it.
5. If his actions confuse you, that’s already your answer. The right man won’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much.
6. After every date, wait until you’re alone and ask yourself this question: If this feeling became my normal, would my life improve or shrink? If the answer is shrink, no amount of attraction, potential, or history will fix that.
7. Don’t confuse attention with respect. Being liked is not the same as being valued.
8. Discernment will save your life. If you feel something is off, most likely it is. Stop making excuses for us.
9. The most obvious answer is the right one, even if it’s the answer you don’t like.
10. After a while, you really have got to stop giving men grace. What he shows you is who he is. Don’t be naive for too long.
Looking for more dating tips that can help you on your first date? Click here to see some dating rules millennials love to follow to impress their partner.
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This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
